Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Rebel without a Cause

I have been called many things in my life, some good and some bad. One that sticks to mind is rebel.

                This is something that I can remember being called since I was a teen but I am sure that it is something that has been with me since the time I could act on my own.

                I am unsure why I am this way and I wonder if there is a cause behind my actions. Then again I have always been told things happen for a reason so who knows right?

                To lay this out for people who do not “know” me let me give you some examples, and I do mean some…

I was working at Wal-Mart and wanted to pierce my nose, I was turning 21 and this was the gift I wanted to give myself. The rule book stated that we were not allowed to have facial piercings. I outright asked the store manager if this was something that I could have done and replace the piercing stud with a retainer after it had healed. His response; “If you do, you will be fired.” I mind you I had been with the company for almost 5 years when I left the company. SO what did I do...? I went and did it anyways. I was 21; it was my money, my face, my life right? Needless to say, I was not fired.

Back when my mom left my step-dad I decided I wanted to have my lip pierced, something I had always wanted but never did because my mom would have had a fit, so when she left, I decided I was going to do it and send her a picture just to freak her out! Of course this plan back fired on me, she liked it! I was shocked! I still have it pierced and I like it myself but the point of the matter is I did it to rebel against my mom.

                I have also been told many things of what not to do and what I should do by people and of course I do the opposite and then realize “Dumb ass!” if only I would have listened to so and so, I would not be in this mess, but pride and independence and downright defiance gets my better judgment and there I am rebelling against the simple facts.

                Things like this are something I have always done. I am not sure why I do things like this, but I am to the age now to where I wonder if this is something that has caused some of my life headaches? If this is going to be the thing that causes me to self-destruct? Am I in fact a rebel without a cause?