Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Is it goodbye...... Or just see ya later?

For the majority of my life I have been with in a three hours drive of my mom, and step dad. If I needed a sitter or a place to do laundry I was never too far from mom. When I needed a place to go, or someone to stay with me at the hospital mom was just a phone call away.
My mom has been there with the birth of all three of my girls, she has seen them all take their first steps, say their first words, and even loose their first tooth, but with in the next few hours that will all just be a memory me and my girls will have.
With in the next few hours my mom will be on the road to her new life. No more kids to worry about making sure they make it to appointments, etc. No more seeing her six grandchildren grow in front of her.
Granted her children are 27, 26, and 20, but most of our lives have revolved around mom. We have depended on her to help us when we were in trouble, when we had dating issues, even when we just needed to sit there with someone.
So with the divorce between her and our step dad being married for 16 years is a little hard for some of us, if not all of us.
With my kids, hubby, and myself planning on the move in February, and my sister, her three kids and the fourth on the way, and maybe soon to be hubby, thinking about moving, and with my poor brother barely over 18 staying here, our parents are not just divorcing but the whole family is separating in a way. None of us will be in the same town for the late night calls to ER, or the just because visits, no more thanksgiving dinners in 2 homes, no more christmas mornings in different places.
Its hard not to wonder if this.......Is this goodbye or is it really just going to be a see ya soon?
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Monday, October 18, 2010

My Life in.....boxes!

At the age of 26 ( man I am getting old!) I have accomplished a few things.....
I have 3 beautiful lil girls, ages 8,7, and 3.
I have a wonderful husband on our good days lol
A HUGE family who are fantastic and crazy!
Some great friends! I wouldn't trade!
I have my Good Enough Diploma, and 1 year of college.
I have a job in the retail world, lucky me!
And I am blessed to wake up breathing!
As a family my husband and I decided to move 10 hours away to Little Rock, Arkansas after the first of the year.
With doing so we opted to move out of our 3 bedroom 1 bath apartment, into my mother-in-laws.
I like having my own space and with raising a family I think it is better to have your own space, but in order to get our ducks in a row so to speak, we figured this was the best option.
So we packed up all of our stuff and made the move to the town next to ours and set up "home" with in a home.
Being used to running the show so to speak it is difficult for me to set back and remember that it is not my house, and boy do I miss our home! I have also found it difficult to manage my household from a storage unit!
When I say all I mean all of our stuff is in storage! I took a week and a half worth of clothes for each person in a suitcase to my mother in laws. There are just a few things that didn't hit the storage unit and those were things like movies, TV's and bathroom stuff. We have our pillows and little stuff like that but nothing else. If the heat or cold won't ruin it, it is locked up in storage.
I can not get to anything in there after we loaded in our furniture. So now we have to buy things even if we don't REALLY need them, like clothes and such!
After 26 years I never thought my life would be in boxes...... Literally!!!!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Are you my Daddy???!!!

I was born in the fall of 1984, on an Air Force base, in California. I was welcomed by my Dad, my mom, my grandparents and my older sister.

I was always told I was a happy baby.....

I had blonde hair, and hazel eyes

I am short for family standards

I had certain characteristics that did not match the family name and yet I was family

My older sister and little brother have dark hair and brown eyes.

They are both TALL

As a kid my dad was my hero. He wasn't just a fire fighter but he was in the military. And every stupid thing we did as kids, like trying to fly off the bunk beds to see if we could make it to our bean bag chairs ( HIGHLY DON'T RECOMMEND), or pretending we were Ms. America and busting our asses in the drive way, or using ben gay as tooth paste, drinking rubbing alcohol, making smores on the stove, drinking whole bottles of wine.... I am sure the list goes on, but dad was always there saving the day!
The older I got the more I started to realize that I was different......

26 years later......

There was a DNA test done to answer the question " Are you my daddy??".

I got the results this week.
Thought the man I was raised with as "dad" is not biologically "dad" he's still dad and my childhood hero....

Being an adult now you think that you can handle things better and not have a hissy fit when things don't go your way, well I proved that theory wrong!

I felt my heart hit the floor when I saw the 0% of parental probability on the screen, I started to shake and felt like my whole body was going numb.

I had been asked how I wanted the results to turn out and I had thought it wouldn't have mattered to me that I just wanted to know the truth, and the truth is what I got. And u know that old saying... " The truth hurts"
YES it does!!!!!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry